Member Speech: My Father's Son

Member Speech: My Father's Son

Advanced Manual: Storytelling, "Get Personal"
Author & Speaker: Dan Mukendi

Speech done at Durack toastmasters club, 16 November 2006
Evaluation by: Bernice Takla
Time 6-8 minutes
(c) Author, 2006

Speech structure:
Topic: Get Personal
Intro: I'm going to be like you dad
Body: Child hood
Growing up
Teasing brother
Developing interest
Closing: The characteristics

Objectives:

* To learn the elements of a good story
* To create and tell an original story based on a personal experience

Evaluation Feedback:
Time taken: 6:34 minutes
How was the plot or the point of the story?
There was a strong structure to the speech but it felt more like a long inspiration

How did the story build to a climax?
Was too general and didn't have a strong climax.

Were the characters well developed? How did you learn about them?
"My dad is the strongest man in the world, carry me on his shoulders" the excellent relationship with the father as the other character was very clear.

How did the speaker use description and dialogue to add colour to the story?
The use of clichés normally and innovatively. e.g. Dad's shoulders, money on trees, etc..
Could have used more description. The part of your speech I could imagine well was at your dad's grey hair...

Were you able to picture the characters & actions as the speaker told the stories...
The characters were well defined as personalities, no so much the physical, which is mostly suited for stories. More physicality would have been nice.
The action was well developed especially via the use of action words. (lying on the flower out with the camera)

Technique used: Good movement around the room, wonderful facial expressions, funny only too general at times more like an ice breaker in terms of conten.

Evaluation Pro Forma 1
Commendations
Well structured. Good preferences to Cat Steven's & what you had already said integrated into the speech. Good used of the floor and kept the audiance entertained (Bits of humour)

Recommendations
Speech speed is a bit fast at times. you have involuntary movement that you may want to control.

Commendation
Strong voice & eye contract. Excellent story telling ability, intro, body & conclusion.

Evaluation Pro Forma 2
Commendations
Dan, it was great having you speak in this club this morning. I enjoyed your colour and drama. I wonder whether you can ever have too much. Perfect

Very enjoyable, well done.

Evaluation Pro Forma 3
Commendations
I really liked your opening, the reference to Cat & the cradle was well used. you energy levels were captivating.

Recommendations
[When] You speak very quickly which is cool only you can jam words together.[ it's important to still retain pronunciation]

Commendation
Very engaging speech - well done. Great use of humour

posted by Speech Quest @ 10:56 AM 0 comments